My name is Maribeth V. Gabrinao. I was born in the Philippines and I grew up with five siblings. I have two brothers and three sisters. I am the youngest on the sister’s side. My oldest brother died fifteen years ago as well as my dad a year later. The youngest brother recently died on March 12, 2018.
In 1990, I came the USA. I was only 21 years old. Since then, I have had a very hard life here. I have learned to live my life alone, without family, and only a few good friends that gave me the strength to moved forward in life.
When I was around five years old. My sister took me to the movie, “The Passion of Christ.” I didn’t know what kind of movie it was then. Now that I am older, I have a better understanding the movie. When I watched the movie, I felt the pain of Jesus and it made me very sad. I was also saddened seeing Jesus being punished and being crucified. The people in that movie were evil to me. My heart felt terrible and heartbroken for Jesus. I never knew that someone could be heart broken at that young age.
On that day, I opened my eyes to love Jesus. I wondered why? I asked myself, “Why a very good hearted person name Jesus could be punished and why people would hate him so cruelly? He has not done anything wrong but to help and love people?” This was my heart going through this feeling.
After the movie, my sister and I had to walk home and we saw a church. I asked my sister if we could go in and pray. My sister decided to wait outside for me. There was only one person in the church when I walked in. I walked straight up in front of the altar and I slowly knelt down. This was the first time I prayed. I had a very strong connection, heart to heart with the Lord. I prayed that “I want to be exactly like Jesus.”
As the years passed by, and I was in my teens my life was filled with so much passion for people, animals and all of the God’s creations. My passion was to help others in pain or need. As I got older, my heart got bigger, it gave me a heart to heart connection to others’ needs. I am sympathetic to what people are going through in life.
Throughout my life, I have had very vivid dreams about Jesus.
My first dream with Jesus:
In my teens, I dreamt of a bright white fence. I was sitting on a big rock inside the circles of the fence. This was the rock Jesus used to kneel when he prayed to God.
While I was sitting on the rock, I saw Jesus with several children wearing bright white gowns. I saw myself wearing a white gown that flowed down to my feet. We were all surrounded by this bright white fence. I looked back at Jesus and the children. It was very clear to me, Jesus’ hand was stretchered upward toward heaven. Jesus was teaching the children about heaven. I had the realization“Oh! the children were Jesus’ students.” When Jesus saw me on the rock, he walked toward me, and said to me:
“What’s wrong, why do you looked so sad?” I replied “because that boy over there!” I was pointed at the boy standing next to me against the rock. “he was belittling me, I said, He has everything and I have nothing. And it hurts me.” Jesus looked at me, and smiled. He put his hand above my head and tapped it. Then, I woke up from my dream. I realized that Jesus will be guiding me while I am in this world.
My second dream with Jesus:
In my twenties, I had this dream of Jesus and I together. He was wearing a bright white gown and he was kneeling down on one knee and cradled me in his arms. My body was limp, weak and full of pains, caused by wrong life decisions. These bad decisions caused abuse of my heart, my flesh and spirit on this earth. The face of Jesus was sad to see me suffer. I awoke from my dream feeling emptiness in my heart. I was wondering the meaning of this dream.
My third dream with Jesus:
I was alone on the tropical seashore surrounded by darkness and a mighty storm. The angry sea was frighting, however, I was not afraid as the heavy rains felt soft against my face. I gazed into the horizon and could see two different views.
On my right was darkness, strong winds, and pouring rains.
On my left, was bright moonlight, reflecting moonlight off the calm, shimmering sea. It made my heart feel up lifted. I saw an area of calmness in the sea where the moonlight touched the ocean. I faintly could see a shadow in the reflection. It was difficult to see as I kept my gaze on the object. Slowly, I saw movement of the shadow slowly drifting in my direction. The shadow slowly came into view as I start to make out it was a figure of a person. I waded into the water up to my knees and reached out to grab the figure and dragged it to the shore. I struggled to pull the figure onto the sand. I was weak and tired and was only able to drag him partly on to the sand. I pulled him onto my lap and realized it was Jesus. He had the crown of thorns on his head, His long hair laid across my lap, His eyes were closed and He seemed beaten up and exhausted. I remembered this so clearly before I woke up.
These dreams had etched into my memories since childhood. Somehow, I knew it was to be apart of my life. For so many years I have searched for something that was always there. I’ve been blinded by the ruler of darkness. Now, my eyes are opened and now I know what I must do for the Lord.
We all go through difficult time in our lives, often tested, regardless if we pass or fail. God can show us the way. Many of us have old unhealed wounds that constantly tear us apart. Open up to God’s healing through prayer so our wounds will heal and scars will vanished.
At the beginning of 2018, I made a prayer card to be share with my family, friends and others through social media. I believed the prayer card would find its way to everyone’s eyes to see. I believe that when everyone prays from their hearts the power of God’s prayers roars throughout the whole world.
I remembered prayer cards that I have written during the changing of the year. This one special card reflects a miracle to me.
Leaving 2017 and entering 2018:
“Dear Lord, Please, lead me to the right path of love, happiness and success in my life’s journey of this new year. Thank You”
No mater what has happened in my life, I never felt the need to blame anyone nor have I ever had thought to blamed the Lord. He helped me open my eyes widely and to understand what I am going through. God led me so that I could clearly see the answer.
My eyes opened widely and my heart felt it was burning in flames. I felt I could never find an explanation. I cried so hard and felt that I could flood the earth.
My first word of prayer was:
“I asked to the Lord to lead me to the right path of love…”
I was thinking as I wrote this word, “to the right path of true love.” Meaning I am asking the Lord to give me a man who can love me truly.
Instead, God led me to the love I needed that came only from him.
My second word of prayer:
Then I asked for “Happiness…”
I was praying for happiness in a monogamist relationship. Instead, the God led me to true happiness only through his son Jesus Christ.
Then I asked my third word of prayer:
“success in my life’s journey.”
I prayed for complete success for work, and in a relationship.
Instead, God led my prayer. To accept the Lord completely into my heart. God gave me his love, hope and faith declaring that love is indeed vastly superior to faith and hope. This high quality of success was giving to me by God.
On my birthday last February 28, I heard the news from my family that my baby brother was sick, and later hospitalized, my business had fallen apart, my relationship was failing, my sister was hospitalized from liver stones and my second niece hospitalized with dengue blood infection. I did not feel like celebrating. It felt like my whole world was falling apart and I had no support system.
I felt I was in a dark room. I could not see who or what’s coming towards me. Suddenly I felt sharp pains in my heart as if someone was stabbing me with a huge knife. I could feel my soul weakening as if my life was draining out. I needed to flee to seek healing and support, leaving my darkness behind. I headed to the Ocean for healing and to comfort my soul.
Upon of arrival to the coast I got word that my baby brother passed away. I was devastated. Many thoughts and emotions rushed through my head. After a few moments I realized, there was no blame or reasons it was in God’s will.”
I believe that this was a test from God. I could feel God’s love for me is when my brother was stricken, business failing, relationship fading, and illness of family members. I believed this was God’s plan to save me.
I needed to find a church for healing. I had a dream that I was holding a brochure with a picture of a church nestled between the mountain and the ocean. Faith brought me to the California coast to search for a church. Somehow God led me to New Life Christian Fellowship in Pacifica, CA.
In retrospect The 5th commandment:
“Honor your father and your mother,”
Played a big part of my brother’s life. I learned from my sisters that once my father got beaten very badly from my baby brother who has passed. Bruises were left all over my father’s body. I couldn’t believe it until I saw the picture of my father. I was very angry at my brother. Months later my father died. My brother transformed into an angry person who begun to drink heavily and curse at everything. I believed that God felt his pain, weakness and anger and knew the devil had him in his grasp. God had led us all to forgive him, and took him into his arms. I remember the love and friendship we had when we were children.
Previously I had been anointed with oil. However, I fully wanted to surrender my whole heart to the Lord, and chose to be baptized with water. What a glorious day to be baptized and born again on Easter Sunday 2018 with the fellowship of the New Life Christian Church.